From the recording Slap Me When I Whine

<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Help me, people!&nbsp; I get whiney a couple of times per day &ndash; sometimes several times an hour.&nbsp; So I need you to rough me up periodically with a reality check, OK?&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">This was a self-imposed challenge since I had to figure out how to write out winds&rsquo; parts. Composing/arranging measure by measure for three instruments wasn&rsquo;t something I&rsquo;d done before.&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">And then it took a village . . .&nbsp; to record.&nbsp; The winds trio consists of two teaching colleagues on trombone and clarinet plus, playing tuba, a member of &ldquo;The President&rsquo;s Own&rdquo; (the United States Marine Band based here in Washington that John Phillip WhatsHisName used to direct!) Washington-area percussionist extraordinaire Tom Teasley (who, I have learned, has military band experience of his own) keeps the rhythm crisp and clear and march-like . . . and occasionally whacky.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"><strong>&copy; 2013 Steven E. Cutts</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">recorded and mixed by Jim Robeson in the <strong>fall/winter &rsquo;15-&lsquo;16</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Steve, <em>vocal</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Christopher Lee, <em>trombone</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Tom Teasley, <em>drums</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Simon Wildman, <em>tuba</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Sarah Winston, <em>clarinet</em></span></p>

Lyrics

<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Slap me when I whine; yank me into line;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Glare at me and snarl when I complain.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Say &ldquo;Shut up&rdquo; when I kvetch like some ungrateful wretch;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Treat me as though I am quite insane.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">If I allege conspiracy, accuse me of mad lunacy;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Insist that I am being paranoid.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Whatever curses I invoke, please shout at me &ldquo;You&rsquo;re blowing smoke</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">When actually you should be overjoyed.&rdquo;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Yes, fortune has been good to me;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I&rsquo;ve managed to dodge tragedy.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">I&rsquo;ve got no monkeys on my back;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I haven&rsquo;t had a heart attack;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Eyesight, hearing &ndash; both are fine;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; My memory&rsquo;s good most of the time.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Even though work can be hard,</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Employment sure beats being bored.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Sufficient money to enjoy &ndash;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Lots of travel &ndash; lots of toys.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">I&rsquo;ve got a roof above my head,</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And very night a nice warm bed.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; My house is on a pleasant street;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I always have enough to eat.&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">I&rsquo;ll try to be more positive</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And grateful for the life I live.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">So use statistics if you must to undermine my fuss;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Don&rsquo;t let me conjure up some sad estate.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Yes, I know that I am prone to rant, groan, whimper, moan;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Don&rsquo;t be tempted to commiserate.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">When I snivel and lament the winter of my discontent,</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Don&rsquo;t encourage my ingratitude.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Don&rsquo;t show up to my pity party; claim you&rsquo;re ill &ndash; not hale and hearty;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Don&rsquo;t indulge my lousy attitude.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">&nbsp;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">The next time I lament my fate, fire away don&rsquo;t hesitate.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Point out I&rsquo;m acting deaf and dumb and blind.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">When I become melodramatic, just resort to our old tactic:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Slap me when I whine!</span></p>