From the recording Slap Me When I Whine
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Help me, people! I get whiney a couple of times per day – sometimes several times an hour. So I need you to rough me up periodically with a reality check, OK? </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">This was a self-imposed challenge since I had to figure out how to write out winds’ parts. Composing/arranging measure by measure for three instruments wasn’t something I’d done before. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">And then it took a village . . . to record. The winds trio consists of two teaching colleagues on trombone and clarinet plus, playing tuba, a member of “The President’s Own” (the United States Marine Band based here in Washington that John Phillip WhatsHisName used to direct!) Washington-area percussionist extraordinaire Tom Teasley (who, I have learned, has military band experience of his own) keeps the rhythm crisp and clear and march-like . . . and occasionally whacky.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"><strong>© 2013 Steven E. Cutts</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">recorded and mixed by Jim Robeson in the <strong>fall/winter ’15-‘16</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Steve, <em>vocal</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Christopher Lee, <em>trombone</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Tom Teasley, <em>drums</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Simon Wildman, <em>tuba</em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Sarah Winston, <em>clarinet</em></span></p>
Lyrics
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Slap me when I whine; yank me into line;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Glare at me and snarl when I complain.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Say “Shut up” when I kvetch like some ungrateful wretch;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Treat me as though I am quite insane.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">If I allege conspiracy, accuse me of mad lunacy;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Insist that I am being paranoid.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Whatever curses I invoke, please shout at me “You’re blowing smoke</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">When actually you should be overjoyed.”</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> Yes, fortune has been good to me;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> I’ve managed to dodge tragedy.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">I’ve got no monkeys on my back;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> I haven’t had a heart attack;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Eyesight, hearing – both are fine;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> My memory’s good most of the time.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Even though work can be hard,</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> Employment sure beats being bored.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> Sufficient money to enjoy –</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> Lots of travel – lots of toys.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">I’ve got a roof above my head,</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> And very night a nice warm bed.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> My house is on a pleasant street;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> I always have enough to eat. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">I’ll try to be more positive</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> And grateful for the life I live.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">So use statistics if you must to undermine my fuss;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Don’t let me conjure up some sad estate.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Yes, I know that I am prone to rant, groan, whimper, moan;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Don’t be tempted to commiserate.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">When I snivel and lament the winter of my discontent,</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Don’t encourage my ingratitude.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Don’t show up to my pity party; claim you’re ill – not hale and hearty;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Don’t indulge my lousy attitude.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">The next time I lament my fate, fire away don’t hesitate.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Point out I’m acting deaf and dumb and blind.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">When I become melodramatic, just resort to our old tactic:</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino, serif; font-size: small;">Slap me when I whine!</span></p>