St. Peter, Please!

03:41 Download

Story

I’m not betting that there’s an afterlife . . .  but you may as well have your arguments prepared!

© 2001 Steven E. Cutts

 a Studio C recording, November 2006

 

Lyrics

Next thing I know, I'm standing at Heaven's door !

Pearly Gates and all like they said it would be in what seems like a lifetime before.

Sure enough there's a guy checking up on every soul,

Looking up histories on a tally sheet – a Lifetime Achievement honor roll.

 

I'm getting' nervous that my name's not there   when just a little while ago I didn't care.

 

St. Peter, please!  I know I didn't pray.  Won't you just let me in anyway?

I confess, I doubted the scriptures; I didn't light a candle; didn't bathe in the river.

But I smiled at my neighbor; I gave money to the poor;

I played by all the rules  --  I'm pretty sure.

St. Peter, please!  Come on and let me in!

 

Since I'd believed there wasn't Heaven then I sure as hell

Hadn't worried 'bout the "other place" with the scummy, low-life clientele.

So I'm thinking fast trying to figure how to make my case,

The best argument in my defense that was bound to get me in this place.

 

St. Peter, please!  I know I didn't pray.  Won't you just let me in anyway?

I confess: I didn't pay respect; I didn't keep kosher; didn't genuflect.

But I tried not to gossip; I never hurt a fly.

I wouldn't try to fool ya, I'm not that kind a guy.

St. Peter, please!  Come on and let me in!

 

            I don't mean to tell you, Peter, how to do your job,

            But I think you let a few slip past

            who were chanting prayers and singing Hallelujahs.

            Lord, they sure picked up a new tune fast!

 

I wasn't known for being pious, but I am begging you to put aside your bias.

 

St. Peter, please!  I know I didn't pray.  Won't you just let me in anyway?

Didn't bow to Mecca five times a day; didn't know the Noble Eightfold Way.

But I didn't cheat the tax man; didn't cheat on my wife:

I was so good my whole life!

St. Peter, please!  Come on and let me in!